What nickname should Ohio have because of technology?

With a mammoth Intel computer chip operation on its way to central Ohio, I say now is the perfect time to give the region a name cooler than, well, “central Ohio.” 

It should speak to our rising prominence in technology, the way “Silicon Valley” does for a part of California. 

Don Hoefler, a tech journalist, is credited with being the first to use Silicon Valley in print in a 1971 trade publication reporting on the concentration of tech companies in the Santa Clara Valley of California. 

Of course, he had an actual valley to work with. Our topography is less spectacular, so it’s going to take someone with considerable marketing expertise to think of the right name. 

In the meantime, I’ll try. 

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Today, I humbly submit my nickname proposals in the interest of fostering discussion — or perhaps supplying some easily eliminated candidates. Here they are: 

• Microhio: I love a rhyme, and this one refers to both location and microprocessor production. But it sounds like a description of a Hobbit village. Tourists would be expecting to see diminutive residents perched on tiny furniture. 

• Chip-opolis: Ohio has a history of potato chip innovation (look it up.) And soon we’ll be making our mark with another kind of chip. (What it lacks in flavor it makes up for in processing speed.) This name pays homage to our past and our future. 

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I’ll be the first to admit, it does lack a certain elegance. As does Chip-o-lumbus, which I also considered. 

• Shangri-lick: It pinpoints the plant’s location and portrays it as a technological paradise. Are we overselling? Perhaps. Also we’d forever be explaining to outsiders that “Licking” is the actual name of a county, derived from “salt lick” and not from the recreational activities of early settlers. 

• Silicon Farms: Silicon chips will be produced where crops once sprouted. I know Silicon Farms is not as romantic as Silicon Valley, but I think it beats Silicon Soybean Fields or, if you want to get geological about it, Silicon Glaciated Till Plains. 

• The 161: The Intel development will give further prominence to our once-humble Route 161, now increasingly lined by enormous structures where companies such as Google and Facebook do data stuff. On the downside, Massachusetts already calls its Route 128 “America’s Technology Highway,” and I’m not sure America needs two of them. 

• Data Land: We’re already processing a lot of bits and bytes around here, so I say why not claim the title? Of course, the “land” ending raises expectations of an amusement park: Disneyland, Legoland, Adventure Land.  

Perhaps Intel would consider adding a merry-go-round, a wave pool and a couple of roller coasters to its ambitious plans. 

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist.

joe.blundo@gmail.com 

@joeblundo 

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