capture a space here
iSpeech.org
“my body wants to take place in this world, capture a space here. that matters. think thoughts, that matter.”
I still remember the morning I first heard this song very clearly. It was a normal morning. I woke up, snuggled with my dog Penelope and went downstairs to make a coffee. I put honey in it. I probably hugged my mom and gave my dad a high five. I even remember the outfit I was wearing; a ‘The Modern Lovers’ shirt and sweatpants. my usual. I got on my computer and started to listen to music, normal. I get lost in this act. normal. all normal. I was browsing through spotify, clicking through different songs and artists. nothing stood out. I was about to quit, but whatever playlist I was listening to started to play this.
I became instantly still. put into place. I hadn’t stopped breathing yet, but that would come.
her voice comes in, “every day, minutes, seconds”
I inhale.
I stop it. I need to pause. I can feel that this song is going to be a message to me. I knew in that moment it was made for me and I knew it was made for you.
for all of us.
I laid down on my couch and closed my eyes and listened to the whole thing. three minutes and thirty seconds, she speaks to me and for me. she is me.
she is you.
I listened again, and again, and again, and then some.
Each time I listened, I would take something different from the song.
Each time, I learned something new or my perspective on it would change.
It even went as far as me listening to the song through the perspective of each important person in my life and being thrilled that the song would completely change based on who I was listening to it through. Maybe this only makes sense in my mind, but maybe there’s a chance you’ll understand too if you listen.
I feel every word she speaks. Even a half year later of discovering it, I still find something new each time I listen to it. It changes with me, it evolves with me. What she tells me still holds true. I plan to sit down with this song in 25 years and still be able to apply it to my life.
This next part is why I love filming.
I watch all my footage at the end of each year, down to the very last clip. each one. I pay attention to details I didn’t even see as I was in the actual reality of the moment. This, to me, is magic. I end up discovering so much this way. That being said, 2017 was not an easy year for me. I’m assuming it wasn’t an easy one for you either. It was one of transition, in all of it’s awkwardness and confusion. I was apprehensive to go through the memories of this year and what they encompassed for me. Looking back on dynamics of my life that have since changed was scary to me. But as I was watching what I chose to film this past year, my mind settled into a state of peace that I was not expecting. I became grateful. I started to immerse myself in these memories by literally clicking the play button. That is MAGIC. All because I decided to capture this moment in time, I am now able to watch it unfold again. and again. and again.
What a gift.
Each shot in this has a purpose. Each one has a beautiful memory attached to it, whether obvious or not. Each detail is important to me. I’ve experienced creation and the minds behind the art, I hope you see that in this. I’ve looked into honest eyes, I hope you see that. I’ve experienced moments of raw vulnerability, I hope you see that. I’ve made mistakes, I hope you see that.
For me, ‘capture a space here’ is about never settling. it’s about all that you’re afraid of. it’s about all that you’re sure of. It’s about the flux of thoughts you have coursing through your mind every day. It’s about the battle you have with yourself. but it’s ultimately, and most importantly, about your importance as an individual on this planet and the value attached to you.
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