An overreliance on technology can create more problems than it solves – Marin Independent Journal
The classic rock tune playing got my finger tapping.
Tap, tap, went the ring on my finger as it made contact with the metal half of the shaker I was holding.
“Do you know this song?” asked the tall brunette sitting in front of me.
“I do. Do you?”
“My dad used to listen to it.”
I stopped tapping after that.
She was tall, very tall. And dressed to the nines. I chuckled at that thought. I was reasonably sure she wouldn’t know what that meant. But I bet her mom would.
She kept looking at her phone.
“Is he late?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, sighing. “I guess I’ll have another glass of pinot noir.”
Father down the bar, another unusually tall brunette sat with a man. They obviously didn’t know each other very well, at least not yet. But, she did laugh at his every joke and he did listen to her every utterance. Dating is about paying attention and first dates are almost comical in their intensity.
“I like this song,” she said.
“Me, too,” he said a little surprised, as if he almost expected her not to like classic rock.
His phone buzzed on the bar upside down. To his credit, he didn’t answer it. Absolute attention is essential on a first date. Some moments later, her phone buzzed. And to her credit, she didn’t answer hers either.
Some bars are banning cellphone use altogether. I get the idea. Far too many people in social settings are glued to their devices. And that behavior has changed the entire feeling for some bars. Instead of gathering places, they have become photo backdrops for Instagram or Tinder.
“I’ll have a chardonnay,” said the seated brunette when I approached.
“Really?” asked her date.
She looked at him.
He shrugged his shoulders.
“I guess I’ll have one, too.”
The first woman’s date eventually arrived and looked up and down the bar, his cellphone in his hand.
She looked up expectantly and then lifted her mask to her face as she stood.
He crossed the distance in two steps, holding out his hand. Love might not happen at first sight, but lust certainly can and does.
The proffered handshake turned into an awkward fist bump. Modern dating can be so confusing,
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” he said, awkwardly holding his mask to his face. “I got lost.”
She looked at her phone on the bar. She didn’t say it, but I’m sure she thought it. “You could have called.” I know that because I thought it myself. She turned a blind eye. Funny how what gets overlooked on a first date will often end a fourth or a fifth one.
“I’ll have a …” he looked at her wine. “Red wine?” He half asked me and half asked her.
“Pinot noir,” I said, helping things along.
He sat, and they began chatting. The initial rough spot seemed to be smoothed over. People do get lost. It does happen. When exposed to the unfamiliar, one can lose track of visual clues and end up heading the wrong direction, or even miss an obvious sign. It can happen to anyone. Navigation apps can help, but sometimes a momentary loss of service can create a mistake in judgment, which is the underlying problem with relying solely on technology.
The two couples seemed to be hitting it off quite well in their own unique ways. Sure, as with all first dates, there were some awkward moments. He ordered seafood; she was allergic. She ordered ribs; he didn’t eat meat. But everyone was relaxing. The two couples were now practically back to back. It was like looking at a mirror image posted on a wall: boy, girl, girl, boy.
“Cynthia, would you like another drink?” asked the late-arriving man when it was obvious her glass was nearing empty.
“Who is Cynthia?” she asked.
“I am,” replied the other tall brunette with the other man, turning around.
“Who are you then?”
“I’m Cindy.”
It took about 10 minutes to get everything sorted out. Red wines on that tab. White wines on that one. Seafood here. Ribs over there. And that was just the financial part. The romantic part never did get figured out.
Leaving me with these thoughts:
• An overreliance on technology can lead to all sorts of unforeseen issues.
• Not answering your phone can be gallant, but it can also be problematic.
• Many people are at a bar for the same reasons as you. Just remember that if you ever get frustrated while waiting.
• Nothing ends a first date faster than embarrassment.
• Swiping on the pictures is great, but reading the text is invaluable.
Jeff Burkhart is the author of “Twenty Years Behind Bars: The Spirited Adventures of a Real Bartender, Vol. I and II,” the host of the Barfly Podcast on iTunes and an award-winning bartender at a local restaurant. Follow him at jeffburkhart.net and contact him at jeffbarflyIJ@outlook.com.
Gloss